Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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