I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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