You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
