Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
