EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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