i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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