she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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