the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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