And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
