the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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