BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
