If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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