I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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