6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
