feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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