He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize