Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
