a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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