This is not my ceiling
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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