Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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