ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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