Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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