I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
