How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
