Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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