There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
