I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
