doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
