once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
