I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
