member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
