I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm always down for nudity.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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