He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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