I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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