wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
