One girl and one boy is just not enough.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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