Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
