U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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