Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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