Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
