im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
