..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
