and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
