I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
