definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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