And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I need help removing her.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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