I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
