either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
