maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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