We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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