Screwed.edu
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
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