I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
