jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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