Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
