RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
